BLOG ENTRY 5 | Jeff Fleming

April 3

She says I have to have a blog. I don’t want a blog. I have enough to do, hell, I don’t have enough time for the things that I want to do, not to mention things that I SHOULD be doing. But, you should have a blog. You have to have a blog. Everybody has a blog. Precisely my reason for not having one. There’s just too much crap on the Internet already. Nope, you have to have one, she says. Just write a little bit every day. Yeah, I said, I’ll write about the stuff I SHOULD be doing instead of the blog. YES! She practically yelled. DO THAT!



April 4

Things I should be doing instead of my NEW BLOG!!!
1. Walk the dog
2. Feed the dog
3. Pet the dog
4. (fill in the blank) the dog
5. Uh, gee, WORK!
6. Call my mother
7. Call your mother
8. Fuck your mother
9. Shop for a new suit so I can get a new job
10. Get a new job so my mom will stop asking, “When are you going to get a REAL job?” They pay me, mom. That makes it real. Serious.
11. Go for a run
12. Buy new running shoes, then go for a run
13. Buy band-aids because I ran too far in my new running shoes
14. Take a shower
15. Clean the shower, then take a shower
16. Clean the shower while taking a shower (time saver!)
17. Buy groceries
18. Have breakfast
19. Or, since it’s almost noon, have lunch
20. Write something else


April 5



April 14

I don’t have any clean underwear.


April 18

She wants me to stop playing World of Warcraft and come to bed.


April 20

There’s this killer double feature at the Red Vic tonight, a Kurosawa and a Tarantino. I’m going.


April 24

I’m hungry, but I really don’t feel like cooking, but I’m too lazy to get up and go out and get something. I just keep flipping channels and hoping that my girlfriend comes home soon and that she was hungry leaving work and decided on a whim to stop by Pancho Villa and get us a couple burritos. Right now, I’m as close to praying for something as I’ve been since the seventh grade when my parents threatened to drag me to Titanic.


April 25

My Powerbook is making my legs hot.

April 26

I think the freakin’ Kung Pao at the Green Dragon gave me food poisoning. Shoulda had the fried rice.